Do This One Thing to Make Receiving Help Much Easier - Minisode | Ep 51

Way back in episode 3, Allison Wyman shared the most brilliant idea for organizing offers of help. We all know people that say, "Let me know how I can help," and we may have even said that ourselves! Listen it to find a super easy way to actually turn those offers of help into meaningful service.

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Transcript

Kristin: 0:07

Hello, and welcome to another minisode of Solidarity Sister with Kristin Wilson, where we continue on in our quest to cultivate our community building skills and lean into meaningful friendships. Self care and self love are at the heart of community building, so we're also exploring how to care for ourselves so we can better connect in relationships. We weren't meant to do life alone, and I'm so glad you're here to do life with me. I recently read a post on Facebook from a friend who was expressing the overwhelm of being a single mother who works nights and is trying to show up and do all the things. It's May, which anyone with kids knows is extra crazy. And this incredible friend was expressing how it feels like there is never enough time or money to keep up. First of all, I hear you, friend. You have been asked to do more and to be more than you signed up for. You signed up to do life with a partner and that has sadly not been your experience. I can definitely relate to all of those feelings of falling short. I want to tell you that I know your heart and I know your strength. I also know that you are doing better than you think you are. Giving yourself grace is going to be a gift that you need and that you deserve. Now, one of the things you mentioned was the difficulty of coordinating the acceptance of service from people who might be willing to help. There is emotional energy involved in asking someone to help you. And if they say no, and you have to think of someone else, it can be even harder. I totally understand that. I have been there. This got me thinking about a fantastic tip from way back to episode three, where Allison Wyman said this.

Allison: 2:10

Another really helpful thing is for people to text and say, Hey, I know your family's going through this. I love you. I'm sending prayers. Put my name on the list. Whatever list it is for in the future. If you need something I volunteer, I'm here and so just knowing that you have a list of people who have signed up for whatever, rides to the hospital, rides to doctor's appointments, picking people up from the airport, getting groceries, like. Having sort of a list of people say via either text or email that if there's a request can be sent out to and I actually think it's better not to send it out to necessarily one person, because then sometimes there's that emotional exchange of like, Oh, what if they say no, and then the person receiving it on the other end is like, I feel so bad. I can't say no, right. But if there's, you have a list of, say, five or 10 people and then you send it out and you say, please let me know if this is something you can do. I'll respond and make plans to the person who, responds first. If you don't hear from me, I thank you so much. It just means we found someone else. Like done, done, done.

Kristin: 3:10

Now I think that advice is absolutely brilliant and I sent it by private message to this friend of mine in response to her Facebook post. If you're a woman going through it, who has had people offer to help and you don't have the mental energy to organize or access this help, I highly recommend that you give Allison's method a try. It really simplifies things and it also decreases the amount of emotional energy involved. We were not meant to do life alone. We were meant to show up for each other. It is O K to let others show up for you. It is O K for you to receive. I am so grateful for the friends and family that have shown up for me, even just the ones who have reached out to check in. I hope to also be continually aware of the people around me who could use a word of encouragement or someone to listen. We are stronger together. If this mini sode was helpful to you, please pass it on to a friend or share it on social media so that other people might be able to use Allison's tip to help their own lives to flow better and to help them to be able to access the community help that is available to them in a way that feels more doable. The support of you listening and also passing on these episodes really means the world to me. Thank you for being part of the Solidarity Sister community. We needed you.