Developing the Courage to Serve Awkardly | Ep 57

I have been feeling an outpouring of God's love and care for me during the midst of some serious storms over here. Today I'm reflecting on my own experiences with showing up for others, even awkwardly, and how my willingness to listen to small nudges to serve has sometimes had a major impact. Prepare for a plot twist.

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to another minisode of Solidarity Sister with Kristin Wilson, where we continue on in our quest to cultivate our community building skills and lean into meaningful friendships. Self care and self love are at the heart of community building, so we're also exploring how to care for ourselves, So that we can better connect in relationships, we weren't meant to do life alone, and I'm so glad you're here to do life with me. This week's mini sode, I'm going to vary from what I often do to tell you a little bit about my process. A lot of the time I'll sit down and I'll kind of type something out, maybe not every word, but I'll have kind of like a real outline of where I'm going to go in a plan before I start talking. And I don't really have that today. I have a little bit of a plan, but none of it's written and it's all in my head. And what I want to do is to encourage you to be brave. To be courageous and to reach out in whatever awkward form you can when you feel that little nudge to do something in kindness for someone else. This is going to be a little vulnerable for me, but it's been really hard over here in my world. I've, uh, experienced some things that I didn't think I would experience, and I have been trying to figure out how to just move forward in the best way possible under some very challenging circumstances that I didn't really see coming. and I cannot express My gratitude for the people who have reached out to me. I cannot tell you how many people randomly have reached out to me recently with a kind word or an encouraging thought or to thank me for some way that I have been of service to them or to say, I just have you on my mind and on my heart. And every single one of those messages has meant a great deal to me.. And I can tell you, some people are able to reach out in a more articulate way where their intuition is so good that they know just what to say. And some people don't have that. And some people are more awkward, but I love them both. And I'm going to give you a little bonus story about a time that I reached out in one of the most awkward ways possible. I really believe that God inspired me to do this. Just be ready for a plot twist. One day when we lived in Naperville, Illinois, I was driving along one of the main thoroughfares and passed a man from my church congregation who was out mowing the lawn at his home. Now this man at the time was probably in his 60s. I don't believe that I had ever had a one on one conversation with him. I may have said hello in the hallway. You know, I believe he knew what my name was. I knew what his name was, but we didn't really have a lot of interaction. But as I drove by this man that day, very strongly, the thought came to me, you need to bring him some bread. And I was like, that is such a weird thought. Like we haven't even spoken. Now I was on my way to my favorite bakery. If you're ever visiting Naperville, Illinois, you have to go to DeEtta's. It is the best place ever. I miss it. I miss their donuts. I miss their breads. I miss their lamb cakes for Easter. I miss so many things. And I also just miss the family that runs it, they are phenomenal. And I love when I can support a small business. There is nothing up to par like that where I live without driving kind of a long way. It has saved me money and calories. So there's that, but I'm on my way to DeEtta's is they did have homemade bread. I just decided, okay, I know this feeling. I know this prompting that I get. And a side note, I prayed for probably Almost every day, 20 years straight to have the ability to see the needs of others and know how to fill those needs. And I really believe that because my brain was focusing on that, my heart was in it, that sometimes I can intuitively figure things out for people because God has answered my prayer. And that's something that is a spiritual gift for me. So anyway, off to DeEtta's I go, I buy whatever I was buying for my family and I buy this loaf of bread and I bring it and I get close to the house and he's still outside and I pull over and, I feel so awkward. You guys, I don't even know how to approach him. I just feel like, really, I feel kind of dumb. Like, what am I going to say? So I'm pretty sure I said something to the effect of, Hey, I was just passing by you. And then I had this thought that I thought you should have some bread, but like homemade bread is actually really better than store bought bread, but I don't know how to make bread. Bread, but I do really like DeEtta's bread and I'm pretty sure that their bread tastes kind of like homemade bread. Like if I'd known how to make homemade bread, but I don't, but anyway, here's this bread and I hope you have a nice day. Like I think it was pretty much right. Right like that. Give or take a few little words there. It was not the best presentation that I have ever made in my life, but it was done with sincerity. And he thanked me and I got in my car and he drove away and I was like, I am so dumb. Like, I don't know, you know, like, yes, we're all working on our positive self talk, but in that moment I was like, could I have made that any more awkward if I tried? And probably the answer is no, but awkward does come naturally for me and it is part of my brand. So fast forward a few weeks in our faith, we have what we call fast and testimony meeting. And it generally is the first Sunday of the month. And what that means is we as a congregation are asked to fast from eating for two meals and to be spiritually focused. Usually you're going to begin and end your fast with a prayer and you're going to have a specific purpose, something that you're really praying for that you would, you know, a blessing or something that you're hoping for. sometimes I fasted for, help overcoming some of my weaknesses. It could be for someone who's sick or otherwise afflicted or whatever. You're looking for answers. There's all different things you can fast for. So fast forward to this fast and testimony, meaning the testimony part is, Oh, okay. So in the fasting, then you actually donate the value of what you would spend during those two meals or more, if you can be more generous. And then that money, would help support those who maybe don't have enough. for themselves. So anyway, at the testimony part, it means that instead of having like a sermon or anything that day, random people from the congregation, just spontaneously can get up and go and bear their own testimony and share their thoughts about how they feel about Jesus Christ. So fast testimony comes. I'm sitting in the congregation. And this gentleman that I gave the bread to stands up and goes to bear his testimony. Now, my understanding is, is that before I lived in that congregation, he had actually been the bishop in the ward and in our faith, we don't have like a paid local clergy. So he would have had his regular job and the bishop would be the head of the congregation. My dad was actually the bishop when I was a little girl. And it's something that he did for about seven and a half years. And now most bishops would take a turn doing that for about five years, give or take. So I didn't really know him, although other people did, but he took a turn to get up and bear his testimony. And I don't remember him ever doing that before in the time that I lived there. And he starts talking about. How this woman in the ward brought him this loaf of bread and I'm like, Oh my gosh, it's me. And how it had him deeply reflecting on how Jesus Christ is the bread of life and what that really means. And all of this whole thought process that he'd had because I brought him this loaf of bread and then suddenly he stopped talking and he just didn't look right. And the leaders of the congregation that were behind him up on the stand kind of reached forward to support him. Well, you guys, he had a stroke and they called 9 1 1 and the whole congregation was silent. And I'm sure that at least 90 percent of everyone was praying for him and he was taken away by the paramedics and He ended up needing pretty extensive physical therapy and people in our congregation Volunteered like day after day many volunteers went for a pretty prolonged period of time this stroke was fairly major for him and You know, of course, there's like some good natured ribbing Maybe from some of my kids that me giving him the bread caused the stroke I would like to think that God is in the details And that this is how God supports us. He saw the stroke coming and what better place to have a stroke than in the middle of a church where there are some first responders already in the congregation, where everyone is going to be praying for you and because they all feel part of it, they are going to show up with meals, with physical help, with whatever the things are, because it happened in the middle of our community. And I'm actually really humbled when I think back that God trusted me and said, go buy him this loaf of bread. And I very, very awkwardly showed up to deliver this loaf of bread, feeling like so dumb, but also feeling at peace because I knew that God had asked me to do that thing. And so I did it. And I have had so many special experiences where I have felt God asking me to do a certain thing or say a certain thing or bring flowers to a person on a certain time. And I did. And it was the day that her divorce was final. And I had no idea. I just knew that God wanted me to take these flowers to this woman that I knew and loved and tell her. that God loved her and that's why I was bringing her these flowers. And it meant a great deal to her. And I had no idea because it's not about me. It was about God and my willingness to show up even awkwardly. And I do believe that some of us come with a better ability to be intuitive about that than others. However, I do believe that all of us can develop that gift. I really think I prayed about that for about 20 years and I have been humbled and overwhelmed by the number of people who have just been listening to God intuitively. And known what to send me. And yes, some of them are awkward, but they listened and they reached out. And I want to encourage you to be that kind of person who Looks at the people around you and reaches out and gets over your awkwardness. Send the text. Make the phone call. Take the bread. Give the smile, the kind word, the Facebook message. Whatever it is, it can be a really small thing. It is these small and simple ways that we think of each other. And we don't think it's that big of a deal, right? Because it took you two minutes, but that two minutes can make such a difference to someone else. And when someone does it to you, be open to receiving it. We cannot, truly serve from a nonjudgmental place until and unless we can receive service without judging ourselves. It has taken me 46 years to learn this lesson and I think I finally get it. And when someone serves me, I no longer feel like I owe them or like I'm not measuring up or like I should be stronger and I shouldn't need their support, which are things that I believed for a long time. But we were put on this earth to build relationships with each other, to lift and support each other, to connect with each other. We were not meant to do life alone. And it happens in the very small, simple interactions. Where we think of someone and we act on the thought. There's a saying, I don't remember who said it, but never suppress a kind thought. So whether you believe that that thought you had came from God or from the universe or from your own brain, if it's a kind thought, just follow it, go with it, see where it leads. My very favorite line of any musical ever in my very favorite musical is in Les Mis at the end. And it says, well, they sing it, but to love another person is to see the face of God. And if you feel like God is far away from you, serve someone, let someone serve you. I see the face of God in the people who are in my village. And in the people that I have been called to serve. So let go of your fears. Let go of your embarrassment over what happens if you are awkward. Well, guess what? If you're awkward, we can be awkward together. And that's okay. Solidarity, sister. Like we can do this. But show up. I've been listening to another book called The Courage to Be Disliked and it talks about that happiness comes from having a community feel and from being of use to other people. Yes, yes it does. Because even if now sometimes you're going to reach out to someone and you're going to follow that prompting and it won't go well. Case in point, one day I was driving around, I'd gotten Taco Bell for one of my kids who really loves Taco Bell. They're bean burritos in a certain way and it's a favorite food and this child is vegetarian so you know, it's a big deal and we pass by a homeless man. And he was, you know, asking for money. I didn't have any cash, but I stopped and I took two of these burritos and I said, would you like some burritos? And he fully cussed me out and said, everyone says they don't have cash these days. I just want money. And, yeah, he was a little aggressive. So that wasn't my best call, but you know what? It was my best call because I felt like I should stop and help him. Um, and then I could go about my day knowing that I listened to that voice, to that feeling, whatever you want to call it, to reach out to someone else. So it won't always work out and that's okay, but don't suppress that voice. Listen to it time and time again and you will strengthen your intuitive service muscles. The more you practice it, the better you will become. I want you to know how much each of you means to me. Every time someone reaches out and says, thank you for this episode, or I listened to this and it was so great. Or somebody who just reached out to tell me that they thought that I was meant for this. Do you know how much that meant to me? It means so much to me. And I'm not telling you this to guilt you. If you haven't reached out to tell me you appreciate the podcast, what I am telling you is find the people that are doing things that mean something to you and tell them. Stop right now. Send a text or a Facebook message or an Instagram or Snapchat or however you reach out to people, an email, or even write a letter by hand and tell someone something that you appreciate about them. You want to radically change how you feel about your life. Do that for three people every day. Let's see how you feel. Maybe you feel depressed, maybe you feel, maybe you're legitimately bedridden, maybe you have a bunch of health issues, but I guarantee you, if you take the time to tell three people every day, something you appreciate about them, whether it's a service they did for you or whether it's a talent or an attribute, something about their character that you admire 3 people every day, you reach out. Can you imagine? What this whole world would feel like if every single person reached out to three people every day taking only one minute per person. Three minutes a day. Everyone on the planet doing that. What would our world feel like? What would the people who experienced both ends of that feel like? Whether you were the recipient of those kind words or the giver of those kind words. No matter your circumstance, you might be walking through the fire right now. I know I am, but I find peace in seeing the face of God in other people. I find peace in knowing that God saw my life before I did and he prepared a way. And when he's given me more than I can handle on my own, I hate that saying, God never gives you more than you can handle on your own. Yes, he does. It's on purpose. He does it one so that we'll come to him for his help. And he does it two, so that he can prompt the angels seen and unseen in our lives, the human angels, the people around us that will love and support us. And I do believe in angels that we don't see. But those angels that are working for our good, yes, we're given more than we can do alone, because we weren't meant to do it alone. So thank you for showing up for me. Thank you for showing up for the people in your life. Please let those around you show up for you. And thank you for being here. If this episode has meant something to you, please share it. But most importantly Go out and act on it. Thank you for being part of the Solidarity Sister community. We needed you.